


Meeting A Need

by SamuelJames



Series: Cutting [4]
Category: History Boys (2006)
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 12:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuelJames/pseuds/SamuelJames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Posner tries to ignore the need to cut but feels the urge is too strong to resist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting A Need

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Meeting A Need  
> Pairing: David Posner/Don Scripps  
> Rating: 15+  
> Summary: Posner tries to ignore the need to cut but feels the urge is too strong to resist.  
> Notes: Part of the cutting series.  
>  **Warnings: Ficlet is about self-harm.**  
>  Disclaimer: The History Boys is the property of its creators. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Archiving Information: Please do not archive elsewhere on the net.

Nothing particularly awful has happened. The world is still a terrible place sometimes but his little corner of it is pretty pleasant. Don is wonderful, they have a nice home with clashing furniture donated by both their mums and most of the time they rattle along just fine. Today though David needs to hurt himself so he can get through the day. Maybe it's Don bringing up the idea of a holiday again. Everyday life is challenging enough without the stress of travel and the worry that Don might see this as a chance to rekindle things. They're still okay but his cutting interferes with intimacy and yet it's the cutting that makes all the other relationship stuff easier to deal with.

The house is quiet while Don is out but David avoids the news. His dark mood doesn't need added specifics of how fucked up the world is today. He scrapes at a tiny scab on his arm till he gets his nail under it and peels it away. Underneath the skin is red, almost healed. It doesn't bleed like he hoped it would. It might have taken the edge off if it had bled, but maybe he'll have to break the promise he made himself when he swore that last time would be the final time. He'd even dumped his blades but of course they both have razors, there are knives in the kitchen and he could break a glass like he did the first time. Don would notice a missing razor before he'd notice a missing glass so a razor is too risky.

David puts on the radio and pulls out one of his poetry books. He reads the lines he knows by heart and they fail to have their usual soothing effect. When he thinks about the extra poetry sessions with Dakin and Hector he smiles sadly. His sixteen year old self didn't know how good he had it. If only all he had to worry about now was a blatant crush on Dakin.

Switching on the tv he flicks through the channels till he finds some home makeover show. The best bit is the reveal and he watches as a family try to convey gratitude as they thank the designer for their purple living room wallpaper. It's still a few hours before Don will be back. He could just do a quick cut and satisfy the need he has. If he could pin down exactly what makes him feel like this he'd have a problem to tackle but it's this intangible feeling of dread that makes him feel like everything requires more effort than he can give. Cutting makes it easier to cope, makes him a better boyfriend and easier to be around. Don would never see it like that so he's more or less given up on the rescue scenarios he'd indulged in previously. Don can never know. It would make him crazy in Don's eyes and that can't happen.

David goes into the kitchen and puts on the kettle like he hasn't already decided what he's about to do. He takes out a mug and a glass, one to inflict pain and the other to soothe afterwards. Five minutes later he settles on the couch with his tea. There's broken glass in the bin, a plaster on his thigh and a smile on his face. He knows it isn't a solution but now he can genuinely look forward to seeing Don. He might even be up to making dinner.


End file.
